I would like to make it known that I'm starting over. Way over.
Not in the whole sense where I get a fashion make-over and become some babe and go be bitchy and rich and marry eight guys in three years. Not in the sense that I start dressing in a more sophisticated way. Nope.
Just in the sense that I renew myself. Now is a good time to do it all again, with a clean slate. I'm officially going to become a much better and much more steady girl. Somebody who is more clear-headed and doesn't get in over herself with confusion.
I just have to find a good time to start doing it. I guess I could start now, but I feel like I have to see or feel some kind of change in me or around me or on me to do it properly. To do it like I really mean it.
I've already put a nontrust block on all the sites I used to visit daily. I've already decided never to visit any of them ever again because it takes up way too much of my time and I'm always stressing about them. So that will give a gate-opening to the new and improved me. A better me. So that I can see myself as a decent person again.
I'm thinking of starting the renewing process when I cut my hair. I'm doing it for the Cancer children... a program called "Locks of Love". It has to be a cut of ten inches or more, so I guess I'll just go with about eleven inches and have it layered or something like that. I've never given much thought to my hair, to be honest. I don't go and obsess with it like most girls do. It's long, it's thick, it's red, and it's getting a bit heavy to lug around. I want to get rid of it but I don't want it to go to waste... so Locks of Love is absolutely perfect because I'm helping myself and I'm helping somebody else.
Next year I'm going to be a stronger person, a better thinker, somebody who makes wise choices and doesn't blow everything off like it's no big deal. Because somethings really are big deals and need to be treated specially. Next year I'm going to be good.
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Hey! I can't consume the coffee in this form!
What is that she's waiting for? What does she want from us?
Find it in the bottom of a cup.
Sit in the chair. I dare you.
Emotions, concoctions, concerns, mental adventures of somebody who is a little left of center and probably nobody you'll ever meet... So why do I seem so familiar?
Emotions, concoctions, concerns, mental adventures of somebody who is a little left of center and probably nobody you'll ever meet... So why do I seem so familiar?
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Bean Blue
Hey! I can't consume the coffee in this form!
Girl's Commune
What is that she's waiting for? What does she want from us?
Shopp'd Steam
Find it in the bottom of a cup.
iRiddle
Sit in the chair. I dare you.
Shimmy
Her personality was split down the middle.She was beginning to get the two sides confused - she'd forgotten who she was and what defined her.
One double-shot mocha and three ginger snaps later, the world opened up a gouge that vacuumed chaos.
It was time to start over.
One double-shot mocha and three ginger snaps later, the world opened up a gouge that vacuumed chaos.
It was time to start over.
The Commune [Part One]
My new imaginary commune will be for underestimated people, who are brilliant but haven't been given a chance. It will be assembled in a deserted classroom where we will all sit on top of the desks and share stories about our lives.
Hal, Matthew, David, Sam and Tony will come, and then Ethan will show up with Kyra, and even ingenius Dorian who has in fact been given a chance but with the wrong things. Even Sara will come, but it will be nice Sara, not mean bitchy Sara, the good one who likes broadway and funny movies. Emma will be invited there too. She will bring her kitten, Nina, and I will bring Molly Cyd, and together the two will frolic around on the tiled floor.
When night falls we'll all curl up on futons and bean bags because the floor would be too hard, and watch old movies, then stay up late discussing the aspects of the films together. Then we will each give goodnight comments and drift into peaceful slumber filled with lovely dreams.
At sunrise we'd all wake each other gently, and then order coffee and breakfast biscuits from Mimi's.We'd gather round discussing intelligently, and listen to music.
Matthew and I would have comic-drawing contests on the white board and then argue about artistic qualities, but it would all be okay because Ethan would get our minds off it for us. And Dorian and I will have fun with Emma and Kyra, and Dorian won't be know-it-all-inflated-ego girl, she'll just be quietly smart in a respectable way.
And we'd trash up our old uniforms with white-out and Expo marker and dance to spooky French techno and Matthew and Sam would improvise on the piano.
Hal, Matthew, David, Sam and Tony will come, and then Ethan will show up with Kyra, and even ingenius Dorian who has in fact been given a chance but with the wrong things. Even Sara will come, but it will be nice Sara, not mean bitchy Sara, the good one who likes broadway and funny movies. Emma will be invited there too. She will bring her kitten, Nina, and I will bring Molly Cyd, and together the two will frolic around on the tiled floor.
When night falls we'll all curl up on futons and bean bags because the floor would be too hard, and watch old movies, then stay up late discussing the aspects of the films together. Then we will each give goodnight comments and drift into peaceful slumber filled with lovely dreams.
At sunrise we'd all wake each other gently, and then order coffee and breakfast biscuits from Mimi's.We'd gather round discussing intelligently, and listen to music.
Matthew and I would have comic-drawing contests on the white board and then argue about artistic qualities, but it would all be okay because Ethan would get our minds off it for us. And Dorian and I will have fun with Emma and Kyra, and Dorian won't be know-it-all-inflated-ego girl, she'll just be quietly smart in a respectable way.
And we'd trash up our old uniforms with white-out and Expo marker and dance to spooky French techno and Matthew and Sam would improvise on the piano.
The Commune [Part Two]
The commune is moving to Sicily.
It'll be easy because we'll all learn to speak in easy sleazy Italian so we'll fit right in.
The same people will be there. Communes are not for families so my parents stay behind, but Andrew is an exception so he can stop by if he wants something.
Molly Cyd will have her own room to herself filled with kitty wonders and joys. I will feed her freshly caught fish and sing to her in Italian.
We will all go walking in the towns and have pure and genuine fun. When we get tired we'll take a pit stop at a cafe and pump back up on lattes.
There will be no school and nothing to worry about.
To sustain ourselves, we'll start a gelato business on the corner of a street and sell our wacky flavors to confused tourists. The girls of the commune will flirt with the good-looking carabinieri but we'll carry cans of mace with us in case anybody decides to get frisky.
It will be a lovely simple life and nobody will screw it up for us.
It'll be easy because we'll all learn to speak in easy sleazy Italian so we'll fit right in.
The same people will be there. Communes are not for families so my parents stay behind, but Andrew is an exception so he can stop by if he wants something.
Molly Cyd will have her own room to herself filled with kitty wonders and joys. I will feed her freshly caught fish and sing to her in Italian.
We will all go walking in the towns and have pure and genuine fun. When we get tired we'll take a pit stop at a cafe and pump back up on lattes.
There will be no school and nothing to worry about.
To sustain ourselves, we'll start a gelato business on the corner of a street and sell our wacky flavors to confused tourists. The girls of the commune will flirt with the good-looking carabinieri but we'll carry cans of mace with us in case anybody decides to get frisky.
It will be a lovely simple life and nobody will screw it up for us.
The Commune [Part Three]
My commune is now making its official transfer to London. No parents and no old-friend kids who will bring back old annoyances, with only a few exceptions. This commune will congregate in a stylish flat, but most of it will take part all over the city. We'll all meet each other and become great new buddies and have no regrets and learn new things every day. We'll have thrilling experiences, ride on scooters and know how to use them and not crash, avoid London traffic in stealthy ways - because we're just that cool.
Tea and coffee and completely necessary for a commune like this so even if we go broke, we'll at least have spent it all for a good reason.
We'll hear great urban music concerts and rock out all evening, then stop for some munchies, then walk around the lighted, rainy nights and talk about rediculous things that matter. We'll all be delirious and hyper and fun, dance around in puddle and make people look at us funny, laugh hysterically at really random and weird things, watch terrible British TV, all that jazz.
And there WILL be jazz. Even though the Brits aren't very famous for their jazz, I'll bring some of my American jazziness over, and we'll all party hard to things like the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, gypsy punk rock, and Anna Tsychiya.
The best part will be a room just for painting, where we will be able to express ourselves by slinging buckets and tubes of paint all around and go crazy, and act like Jackson Pollock, only 500 times better. We will make masterpieces.
Tea and coffee and completely necessary for a commune like this so even if we go broke, we'll at least have spent it all for a good reason.
We'll hear great urban music concerts and rock out all evening, then stop for some munchies, then walk around the lighted, rainy nights and talk about rediculous things that matter. We'll all be delirious and hyper and fun, dance around in puddle and make people look at us funny, laugh hysterically at really random and weird things, watch terrible British TV, all that jazz.
And there WILL be jazz. Even though the Brits aren't very famous for their jazz, I'll bring some of my American jazziness over, and we'll all party hard to things like the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra, gypsy punk rock, and Anna Tsychiya.
The best part will be a room just for painting, where we will be able to express ourselves by slinging buckets and tubes of paint all around and go crazy, and act like Jackson Pollock, only 500 times better. We will make masterpieces.
My Favorite Things
- A hot cup of coffee
- A small un-heard-of cafe
- Afro-Celtic music
- An iced coffee
- Arguing about Beethoven
- Bananas
- Baristas
- Cold weather
- Fellows, not men
- Funny kids who mean it
- Getting packages in the mail
- Ginger snaps
- Ice cubes
- Imaginary communes
- Learning a song
- Pinstripes and other patterns
- Random impulses that go somewhere
- Shrimp and pepper kabobs
- Sunlight
- The way text looks on a page
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